More bad press for the muni wi-fi movement. It seems like each week brings another story of how things haven’t quite turned out as planned. This week, it’s Business Week with a story about “Why Wi-Fi Networks Are Floundering.” In the piece, author Olga Kharif argues that:

The static crackling around municipal wireless networks is getting worse. San Francisco Wi-Fi, perhaps the highest-profile project among the hundreds announced over the past few years, is in limbo. Milwaukee is delaying its plan to offer citywide wireless Internet access. The network build-out in Philadelphia, the trailblazer among major cities embracing wireless as a vital new form of municipal infrastructure, is progressing slower than expected.

These potholes in the nation’s wireless rollout of civic ambition—criticized by many as an improper use of tax dollars—are hardly the exception. For the road is getting bumpier for cities and the companies they have partnered with in a bid to blanket their streets with high-speed Internet access at little or no cost to users.

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I normally love John Tierney’s work, but boy is this silly. “Man, what if, like, we’re not real, man. What if we’re just a computer simulation like on the Matrix?” Beyond the dorm-room-bull-session character of the whole premise, the argument doesn’t make any sense:

Dr. Bostrom assumes that technological advances could produce a computer with more processing power than all the brains in the world, and that advanced humans, or “posthumans,” could run “ancestor simulations” of their evolutionary history by creating virtual worlds inhabited by virtual people with fully developed virtual nervous systems.

Some computer experts have projected, based on trends in processing power, that we will have such a computer by the middle of this century, but it doesn’t matter for Dr. Bostrom’s argument whether it takes 50 years or 5 million years. If civilization survived long enough to reach that stage, and if the posthumans were to run lots of simulations for research purposes or entertainment, then the number of virtual ancestors they created would be vastly greater than the number of real ancestors.

It might be true that at some point we’ll have the computing power to run precise, molecule-by-molecule simulations of the human brain. But that doesn’t really get you where Bostrom wants to take us. What he wants is a molecule-by-molecule simulation of the entire universe, or at the very least of the entire surface of Planet Earth. Human brains don’t exist in isolation. Their development is intimately shaped by their interaction with the real world. To develop a realistic simulation of the brain, you need a realistic simulation of the world the brain interacts with.

And accurately simulating any given system requires a computer system at least as complex as the system being simulated. We’re only able to simulate things like the weather and car crashes because we make assumptions that radically simplify our models. But that, of course, makes the details of their predictions wrong, especially over long time frames. That’s why weather predictions further out than 10 days are worthless. If you’re trying to simulate a long-term process like the evolution of human society, such radical simplifications wouldn’t be acceptable. If virtual Milikan performs his oil-drop experiment, the simulation had better be detailed enough to keep track of individual electrons, or the physicists of your virtual world will be very confused, and the “science” of our virtual world will evolve in a very different direction.

So an accurate simulation of the world would have to be roughly as complex as the world itself. And since any given computer will presumably only be a small part of the world, the maximum complexity of the worlds it can simulate will necessarily be far simpler than the real world the computer occupies. So while I suppose it’s possible we’re being simulated by a computer in a mind-bogglingly more complex universe, the more plausible explanation is that we’re in the “real” world, whatever that means.

Did the New York Times really just print that?

Update: Tom Lee had almost exactly the same reaction. Although he’s obviously cooler than me, as his college students had a dime bag in addition to their copy of The Matrix.

Pooping Barbie Dog Well this terribly off-topic, but I just had to share this. The Mattel toy recall is making big news this week and part of the recall includes some toys that include small magnets. Apparently some kids are sticking the magnets in their mouths and swallowing them. Lesson: Magnets + intestines = bad mix. Who knew!

Anyway, one of the toys being recalled is the “Barbie and Tanner” playset which–and I am NOT making this up–lets your child experience the joys of picking up dog poop! You see, Tanner is Barbie’s yellow labrador retriever and all he does is eat and then go poo. You put little brown food pellets in Tanner’s mouth, push his tail down, and then he poops them right out. Tanner is one well-balanced little doggie and his poop is always solid, which is helpful because the Barbie in this set comes with a pooper-scooper to clean up after him!

How do I know all this? Because this damn pooping dog is my 5 year old daughter’s favorite toy! She keeps this dumb dog in her dollhouse with all her dolls and even lets the dog sleep in the bed with Barbie. But now it’s being recalled because these little poo pellets are a hazard to a kid’s health. Honestly, I’m not really concerned with my daughter putting these little pellets in her mouth. Perhaps that’s because she understands that they represent fake dog poop and it would be gross to put them in her mouth!

But my 3 year old son? Well, he’s not quite as sharp as his sister. (Perhaps it’s because of all the lead paint he’s licking off those other Mattel toys!) Moreover, he’s got a little Beavis and Butthead in him and his first response upon seeing the Tanner dog do his duty was to say something to the effect of “Heh-heh, huh-huh…pooooooop!” So God only knows what that kid might do if he ever got his hands on those dog poo pellets.

Regardless, I’m probably gunna have to get rid of that pooping dog, and that’s going to make my daughter utterly hysterical. It’ll be like the final scene out of “Old Yeller.” She’ll be sobbing and uttering lines like, “No Pa, please don’t put Old Tanner down!” And I’ll have to come up with some BS story about Tanner’s time on Earth coming to an end and how he’s going to doggie heaven. I’ll probably have to bury him in a shoebox in the backyard with a formal gravestone before it’s all over. And what makes it all the more insulting is that, as I am going out back to bury the toy dog, I will have to navigate my way through a minefield of actual dog sh*t from our family’s 10 year old lab who poops–not so solidly as Tanner, I might add–just about anywhere and everywhere he can find a patch of living grass. That stupid Tanner toy hasn’t helped me a damn bit when it comes to getting my daughter interested in picking up real doggie doo-doo, which my daughter describes as “just nasty.”

Damn you Tanner. Damn you to Hell.

(P.S. I wrote about other killer toys last December in this essay).

First Gift Doctrine

by on August 15, 2007 · 0 comments

Over at Ars, I’ve got a write-up of EFF’s new case defending the First Sale Doctrine. Universal Music has been suing people who sell promotional CDs on eBay. EFF says (and I’m inclined to agree) that under the First Sale Doctrine, those CDs are the property of whoever the labels give them to, and the new owners are entitled to do what they wish with them. The case could have broader implications for the software industry:

Attempts to circumvent the first sale principle using license agreements is not unique to UMG. The practice is especially common among software firms, which routinely distribute their products with a shrinkwrap license. Such end-user license agreements typically state that the software has not been sold to users but has only been licensed for the customer’s personal use, subject to a variety of conditions spelled out in the EULA. Software firms contend that because their software is merely licensed to users rather than sold, the First Sale Doctrine does not apply.

Such shrinkwrap licenses have generated considerable controversy, and some courts have rejected them outright. For example, in a 2001 case, a California judge ruled that Adobe’s EULA did not apply to a California businessman who bought bundled Adobe software and resold the individual components. In that case, the judge held that despite Adobe’s contention that it merely licensed its software, “the circumstances surrounding the transaction strongly suggest that the transaction is in fact a sale rather than a license.”

UMG’s lawsuit against Augustino will test the boundaries of the First Sale Doctrine. UMG may argue that the First Sale Doctrine only applies to sales of copyrighted materials and not to CDs it gives away. But EFF attorney Fred von Lohmann tells Ars that the courts have applied the First Sale Doctrine to gifts in the past. For example, he points to a 1984 case in which Disney tried to prevent the auction of film cells that had been given to a former employee. The court found that the First Sale Doctrine applied and allowed the auction to go forward.

I think there are good reasons to be skeptical of the notion that these kinds of “shrinkwrap licenses” are validly enacted contracts at all, given that they are often presented to the customer only after he has completed his purchase and returned home. One party to a transaction can’t just unilaterally add new conditions after the transaction is complete. If UMG really believes it’s only licensing its promo CDs, it should require recipients to sign an explicit license agreement before giving them the CD, and it should demand the return of the CD after it’s been reviewed. But if they simply ship these CDs out to people unsolicited, it’s a little silly for them to then turn around and claim they weren’t really gifts. If it looks like a gift and quacks like a gift, the court should treat it like a gift, no matter what might fine print might be stamped on the CD itself.

Ellen Miller got the scoop in an email:

A major research institution has recently announced the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science.

The new element has been named Governmentium. Governmentium (Gv) has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons . . . .

It continues from there.

Over the last two years, San Francisco has been in negotiations with Earthlink who, in partnership with Google, has had plans to build a Wi-Fi “cloud” over the 47 sq. mile geek-infested city. The goal, set out in 2005, was to blanket the city with 1,500 wireless hot-spots which would be accessible free of charge, supported by ads from Google. For those who wanted faster, ad-free service, a subscription fee could be paid.

Now rumors are circulating that Earthlink is pulling out of the deal, while the San Fran government is moving forward with a non-binding referendum in September that will presumably decide the fate of this boondoggle.

But San Franciscans needn’t worry. According to a 2005 paper by Steven Titch of the Heartland Institute the number of San Fran hot-spots that year was 396 (making it the #1 Wi-Fi city in the country). The latest jiwire.com numbers show that number is now over 800. It seems that hot-spots are following Moore’s law and doubling in 2 years!

With over 800 public hot-spots (halfway to Earthlink’s goal) already covering this 47 square mile area, why should the city give away special privileges to Earthlink for a city-wide build-out? The competitive marketplace is already taking care of spreading the wireless love around the city. Why not open up the city to more competition by easing right of way access, eliminating or cutting taxes associated with Wi-Fi installation, and opening exclusive franchising? Rather than looking backward and modeling themselves after past state-run follies, cities could take a leading role in increasing competition.

ASPEN, Colo. – Federal Communications Commission Chairman Kevin Martin on Tuesday offered two proposals that he said would address concerns about objectionable content and add “access to new voices in the media.”

Martin repeated his proposal to require cable operators to sell television programming a la carte, or on a per-channel basis. “The ability to pick and choose among the content being offered them by the cable operators,” he said at the Aspen Forum on Communications and Society here.

Parents would have “much have meaningful choices” in the programming they could watch, he said. Currently, “there is little or no incentive for the market or programmers to respond” to parents’ demands for less racy content.

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“Instead, the country should have a national debate on security and identification that leads to a thoughtful plan that protects privacy . . . .”

Good idea!

Net neutrality regulation has often been described as a “solution without a problem.” While supporters produce hypothetical concerns like little chocolate doughnuts, real-life examples of abuse have been virtually impossible to find. That probably explains the excitement in the pro-regulation camp over an incident last week involving the unlikely combination of AT&T and Pearl Jam.

It all started one week ago Sunday, during the annual Lollapalooza music festival in Chicago. Pearl Jam was singing the ancient hit “Another Brick in the Wall,” updating it to include some not-so-complimentary verses about George Bush. So far so good. But, as it turns out, some of the Bush references were bleeped out of the webcast of the event being shown on AT&T’s “Blue Room” website (attblueroom.com).

The incident has been seized on by pro-regulation advocates as their long-sought “smoking gun” on the need for neutrality rules. “Over the weekend, AT&T gave us a glimpse of their plans for the Web when they censored a Pearl Jam performance that didn’t meet their standard of “Internet freedom,” reported SavetheInternet.com. “See what the Internet would look like without Net Neutrality,” advertised Free Press.

Pearl Jam itself declared itself a political victim, issuing a statement stating that: “What happened to us this weekend was about something much bigger than the censorship of a rock band.”

Actually, the incident was about something much smaller than that.

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Radley points to this story about a Minnesota ruling that the state must give a man convicted of drunk driving access to the source code of the breathalyzer used in the case against him. Radley gets it exactly right:

This is a great ruling, and needs to happen more often. Not just for breath machines, but for red light and speed cameras, too.

The companies that make these machines have in the past refused to turn over source code, which in some instances has led to mass acquittals.

You’re supposed to have the right to confront your accuser in this country. If these machines are going to be the only thing standing between an innocent person and the wreckage that comes with a DWI conviction, defendants have every right to examine their margin for error, how they process breath samples, and whether they’re tamper-proof.

Quite so. I also think the “trade secret” argument is a bit of a red herring:

This isn’t the first time breathalyzer source code has been the subject of legal scrutiny. A Florida court ruled two years ago that police can’t use electronic breathalyzers as courtroom evidence against drivers unless the source code is disclosed. Other alleged drunk drivers have had charges thrown out because CMI refuses to reveal the Intoxilyzer source code.

If a state is contractually prohibited from allowing a defendant from examining all relevant evidence in a criminal case—and that’s what the source code is—then the state should have to choose between re-negotiating the contract or dropping the case. Any trade secret issues are and should be the problem of the prosecutors, not the defendant.