Announcing “The Sin Think Tank” — Now Accepting Applications

by on October 4, 2010 · 14 comments

Since joining the ranks of the unemployed, a number of folks have sent kind notes wishing me well and asking what’s next for me.  Well, now that I finally have the time to pursue my lifelong dream, I’m pleased to announce my new venture: The Sin Think Tank.  The mission of the Sin Think Tank will be to promote prurient interests, gun play, gambling, unhealthy eating, and alcohol and tobacco appreciation.  Some of our positions or programs will include:

  • The Bob Guccione Fellow in Cultural Studies
  • The Joe Camel Chair in Environmental Analysis
  • The Smith & Wesson Institute for Peace
  • The Jack Daniels Center for Spirited Discussion
  • The Center for Gambling Promotion
  • The Dunkin Donuts Nutrition & Nourishment Initiative (aka, the “Feed the World” initiative)
  • The Hunter S. Thompson Foundation for Free Living & High Times

Our official headquarters — a unique edifice constructed entirely from stacks of Benjamins stuck together with trans fats and extra-sugary kids’ gum — will eventually be located in Las Vegas, Nevada, of course.  Job benefits are excellent, especially our Mixed Martial Arts day care center for the kiddies.

Resumes are welcome but personal interviews are preferred and will take place at Gilbert’s Indoor Gun Range or at The Brickskeller while applicants are expected to sample 2% of every beer in stock during one sitting.

I welcome ideas for other positions and centers.  [The Sin Think Tank is an Equal Opportunity Offender Employer.]

  • Jon Henke

    Dibs on the endowed Chair for the Study of the Reclining Arts. I intend to have a thorough program focused on threats that can be dealt with from the comfort of my La-Z-Boy. My policy activities will revolve around blowing up Zombies, Nazis, terrorists, aliens, mutants, and anything else that seems vaguely threatening.

    I expect a competitive benefits package that includes both Cheetos and Fresca.

  • Adam Thierer

    I like that! Also reminds me that we'll also need a Fellowship for Fantasy Sports Studies. Might be harder to fun than these others, however.

  • Ryan Radia

    I can think of several top-notch policy scholars who'd make a fantastic John Stagliano Very Well Endowed Chair in Penetrating Research and Milk Nymphology

  • Timothy Lee

    What about porn Adam?

  • Jon Henke

    Oh, we should also get a government funded grant to research the effect of government funded grants on research institutions. Naturally, our government-funded reports will always conclude: “More funding is required.”

    At some point, somebody may eventually ask why a bunch of libertarians are taking government money to produce reports that say the government should give us more money. At which point, we can simply call it Performance Art and insist on moving our grants over to the NEA, where we will title our piece “An Ironic Commentary on the Funding Patterns of Rubes”. If they continue to fund that, I think we'll have to declare it an artistic success and go home. Or we could take those results to the National Science Foundation and ask for a grant based on our empirical proof in support of the premises of the libertarian view of government.

  • Brett Glass

    So (as I just remarked on Twitter), is Tech Liberation becoming Tech Libation? ;-)

  • carl gipson

    I've got a five-spot to help fund the Romeo y Julieta Center for the Advanced Study of Tobacco Arts.

  • Vze1009s4

    I mourn the passing of PFF. It made a difference, being a clear, loud and simple voice for the conservative view about communications issues. When the last ding dong of doom sounds, no one will remember anything that came out of Brookings, The Benton Foundation, or the League for a More Lovely Tomorrow in the last 15 years. But people will remember what PFF said.

  • Jim Harper

    Adam, you could economize by calling this project a “Sink Tank.” Might pick up some funding from Kohler if they're not paying that much attention.

  • Brooke Oberwetter

    I wish you were serious, Adam. The Joe Camel Chair in Environmental (and Busybody) Analysis is pretty much my dream job.

  • Steven Titch

    I am prepared to engage in the lengthy, rigorous and immersive research these difficult and nuanced policy issues require. I know you would expect nothing less.

  • Christopher_T.

    How about the William F. Gaines Anti-Exercise League? (Bill Gaines, long time publisher of Mad magazine, once took a taxi from the bottom of a hill to the top just to avoid climbing it)?

  • Brett Glass

    Actually, becoming a knee-jerk, lockstep “conservative” think tank was PFF's downfall. There's already a surplus of such groups. PFF used to be thoughtful and was therefore respected. It advocated free markets but did not embrace the absurd, false dogma that markets absolutely could not fail. When it abandoned this stance, it lost its raison d'etre and withered away.

  • Who do you think

    I can find funding.

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