Act Now! Support a Bold National Elevator Plan

by on February 12, 2010 · 42 comments

Last week I received Public Knowledge’s press release and letter urging support of a “Bold National Broadband Plan.” I admire PK a great deal on several issues, but remain struck by the arbitrariness of demanding “national plans” for this-or-that technology. It occurred to me that if anybody were to actually ask me (so, don’t), I think I favor a National Elevator Plan instead.
Too many Americans live in two-story homes, and/or have basements, yet have no easy access to the upstairs bathroom and Halloween decorations in the attic, or to the aunt living up there. They are forced to rely on outdated “stairs” technology. (And stairs are dangerous! So this is far more urgent than broadband! Show your outrage! Etc.!) So I ever-so-slightly tweaked the letter; this bold new campaign is meant to rectify this injustice and I hope you’ll sign on and spread the word.

Dear Friends:

On March 17, the Federal Conveyance Commission (FCC) will deliver its “National Elevator Plan for America” to Congress. The purpose of the plan is to ensure that every American home has affordable access to fast and reliable elevators, which large companies and office buildings have unfairly and exclusively enjoyed for decades. Access to the second floor and basement is critical to ensuring that all Americans are able to fully participate in vertical rather than merely diagonal movement at home, not just in the workplace.

We have been working for many months to ensure that our National Elevator Plan is a bold one. We have filed extensive comments, testified at three FCC workshops and met with FCC officials on numerous occasions during that time. Among other things, we urged the Commission to:

1) Promote policies that would give consumers more choice among elevators and escalators.

2) Ensure that universal service funds are used to increase access to elevators in rural areas. Not many of them asked for the elevators, but truly, what difference does that really make.

3) Refrain from using the plan to enforce intellectual property claims in digital button and display technology. Ensure that elevators are neutral and do not discriminate unfairly between floors.

With just a month to go before the National Elevator Plan is delivered to Congress, we need your help to continue to advocate for affordable and robust vertical conveyance. Please sign on.

Middle-Name Wayne
President
Public Conveyance, Inc.

  • dennis2j

    Hogwash! The low-tech, green answer is a fireman's pole. A good fireman's pole would be just as effective for the downstairs trips. Of course, it wouldn't be of much use going up. It would have the benefit, however, of having a smaller carbon footprint, and it would promote impromptu striptease dancing. For upward mobility, people could learn to climb the pole hand-over-hand, thus increasing upper body strength and fighting obesity.

  • http://techliberation.com/author/berinszoka/ Berin Szoka

    Very funny! And here I was thinking this was going to be a call for public funding of a space elevator!

  • Anonymous

    Hold on. I’ve seen Larry, Moe and Curly use a fireman’s pole to go up, so the technology must exist but is probably being suppressed by the evil elevator cartel (EEC) who hope to get billions of $$$

  • Anonymous

    Hold on. I’ve seen Larry, Moe and Curly use a fireman’s pole to go up, so the technology must exist but is probably being suppressed by the evil elevator cartel (EEC) who hope to get billions of $$$

  • nolanimrod

    You should probably change the FCC part, too.

  • nolanimrod

    You should probably change the FCC part, too.

  • Mock E. Avelli

    I want free car insurance. And a free car. And free tax preparation. And free food. Where are the plans for these things? I want free plans for plans, too!

  • Mock E. Avelli

    I want free car insurance. And a free car. And free tax preparation. And free food. Where are the plans for these things? I want free plans for plans, too!

  • Rob

    You need to boldly go.
    I think the space elevator will be a winner, when we finally have materials strong enough.
    Til the check out the Quicklaunch cannon to the planets.
    popsci.com/category/tags/quicklaunch

  • Rob

    You need to boldly go.
    I think the space elevator will be a winner, when we finally have materials strong enough.
    Til the check out the Quicklaunch cannon to the planets.
    popsci.com/category/tags/quicklaunch

  • Mike C

    Speaking as someone with effed-up knees, I could do with a escomulator. I’ll pay for one myself if I want one badly enough, though.

  • Mike C

    Speaking as someone with effed-up knees, I could do with a escomulator. I’ll pay for one myself if I want one badly enough, though.

  • Mike C

    Speaking as someone with effed-up knees, I could do with a escomulator. I’ll pay for one myself if I want one badly enough, though.

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  • chb3

    it’s not so much that big business has benefited from elevator tech as much as the altitudinal advantages and access to the view they get… vast panoramas, curvature of the earth, the ability to look down on others… universal elevator programs are a good start, but the average joe is still at a height disadvantage. Clearly to level this playing field house elevators are demanded, thus allowing every American to raise his livingroom window to the same heights as corporate america’s boardrooms. without equal views for all, there is no equality.

  • chb3

    it’s not so much that big business has benefited from elevator tech as much as the altitudinal advantages and access to the view they get… vast panoramas, curvature of the earth, the ability to look down on others… universal elevator programs are a good start, but the average joe is still at a height disadvantage. Clearly to level this playing field house elevators are demanded, thus allowing every American to raise his livingroom window to the same heights as corporate america’s boardrooms. without equal views for all, there is no equality.

  • chb3

    it’s not so much that big business has benefited from elevator tech as much as the altitudinal advantages and access to the view they get… vast panoramas, curvature of the earth, the ability to look down on others… universal elevator programs are a good start, but the average joe is still at a height disadvantage. Clearly to level this playing field house elevators are demanded, thus allowing every American to raise his livingroom window to the same heights as corporate america’s boardrooms. without equal views for all, there is no equality.

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  • Nick R Brown

    Big Elevator?

  • Oso Anonymous

    I’m liking the fireman’s / stripper’s pole idea, but my wife has bad knees and can’t use it for either purpose. If we opt for this technology, will the plan pay for a replacement wife?

  • Oso Anonymous

    I’m liking the fireman’s / stripper’s pole idea, but my wife has bad knees and can’t use it for either purpose. If we opt for this technology, will the plan pay for a replacement wife?

  • Paul C

    Do you remember the movie Forbidden Planet? The crew used powered poles to ride up to the second level of the bridge and down to the main deck. They simply stepped onto a footrest, grabbed the pole and away they went. Of course there were no safety features, but OSHA would be happy to mandate some.

  • Paul C

    Do you remember the movie Forbidden Planet? The crew used powered poles to ride up to the second level of the bridge and down to the main deck. They simply stepped onto a footrest, grabbed the pole and away they went. Of course there were no safety features, but OSHA would be happy to mandate some.

  • Paul C

    Do you remember the movie Forbidden Planet? The crew used powered poles to ride up to the second level of the bridge and down to the main deck. They simply stepped onto a footrest, grabbed the pole and away they went. Of course there were no safety features, but OSHA would be happy to mandate some.

  • Anonymous

    Even though the economy needs a lift, this technology with all its ups and downs, is beyond the ken of the average person, untrained in multi-level thinking. The plan is sure to escalate. Who knows what clever operators would want, once vertical mobility is an entitlement–higher level pay? A safer idea is the one we’ve already used in schools and industry: just reduce everything to one easy-to-believe, universally acceptable story. There are those who may obstruct this. I say close the doors on them, and let them have the shaft. Either way, they are Going Down.

  • Anonymous

    Even though the economy needs a lift, this technology with all its ups and downs, is beyond the ken of the average person, untrained in multi-level thinking. The plan is sure to escalate. Who knows what clever operators would want, once vertical mobility is an entitlement–higher level pay? A safer idea is the one we’ve already used in schools and industry: just reduce everything to one easy-to-believe, universally acceptable story. There are those who may obstruct this. I say close the doors on them, and let them have the shaft. Either way, they are Going Down.

  • John Gardner

    Naturally, there needs to be hefty federal subsidies, including tax breaks to mostly offset the cost of retro-fitting houses with elevators.

  • John Gardner

    Naturally, there needs to be hefty federal subsidies, including tax breaks to mostly offset the cost of retro-fitting houses with elevators.

  • dennis2j

    Hogwash! The low-tech, green answer is a fireman's pole. A good fireman's pole would be just as effective for the downstairs trips. Of course, it wouldn't be of much use going up. It would have the benefit, however, of having a smaller carbon footprint, and it would promote impromptu striptease dancing. For upward mobility, people could learn to climb the pole hand-over-hand, thus increasing upper body strength and fighting obesity.

  • http://techliberation.com/author/berinszoka/ Berin Szoka

    Very funny! And here I was thinking this was going to be a call for public funding of a space elevator!

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  • http://achetertelephone.eu/ Jason

    Would be ridiculous when half of the nation is overweight to install lifts for replacing couple stairs.

  • Philster

    Ooo! Ooo! I call Elevator Czar!

  • Brett Glass

    What's more, according to new “elevator neutrality” regulations, all of the new elevators must go as far down as they do up. Anything else would discriminate in favor of “up” and against “down,” or vice versa. So, you'll be required by law to dig a basement, a sub-basement, or a sub-basement for your house at your own expense.

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  • ecabelevator

    Luckily, there are plenty of affordable alternatives to residential home elevators that are on the market now – but I love the idea of a fireman's pole! Or perhaps a simple slide?

  • http://www.ecabelevator.com/ eCab Elevator

    Luckily, there are plenty of affordable alternatives to residential home elevators that are on the market now – but I love the idea of a fireman's pole! Or perhaps a simple slide?

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